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Monday, January 30, 2012

Dates gone bad. Real bad.

I often wonder if I am the ONLY single lady in this world who absolutely despises the dating scene.  During my Jr. High and High school years, I was not interested in dating.  I have always been strong-willed, independent, and free spirited.  Dating someone at that time in my life was not something that I cared to do.  After graduating high school and moving to Charleston I thought the normal thing to do was test out the waters in the dating pool.

Ladies, let me give you a few tips through my experience of dating: 

DO NOT let one of your professors set you up on a blind date with their nephew.  If their uncle is known as the player, and the nephew shows some of those same qualities. Say NO!  As the saying goes, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."  

This one is a no brainier for most but if you are anything like the young me thinking you can change the world and everyone in it, you might have found yourself in this situation.  When a guy in your class singles you out among all the other girls and picks on you, it's not because he doesn't like you, it's because he DOES like you.  You would think that 18 and 19 years old, those games would stop but they don't.  Then when the day finally comes that he gets the nerve up to FINALLY ask you out on a date...JUST SAY NO!  Especially knowing that he is a KNOWN pothead.  You cannot change him.  He will most likely come to pick you up for your date high.  No joke.  It happens.

When you are in the gym getting your workout on and a guy approaches you.  Run.  Sure, it may be flattering that a guy would be interested in you when you look at your worse because let's face it, hair up in a messy bun, sweaty and no make-up is NOT attractive.  So feeling like you could conquer the world because you sparked someone's interest when you look like poo; you decide to give them your number.  Oh, let me add that you work at this gym so basically you just gave your personal number to a MEMBER.  You find out this guy is a pilot in the Air force and you know you can't turn down a man in uniform.  Especially someone who flies a plane.  It doesn't take long to make a date with this guy.  Then after finally coming back down to reality, you start thinking to yourself...well if he is already a pilot in the Air force that means he had to serve time first, then at least have 4 years of college behind him,you begin to wonder...how old is this guy?  So knowing that you are capable of looking him up in the system at the gym (because you do work there) you find out he is 30 years old!  For someone who had JUST turned 20...30 seem like a grandpa.  But you already said you would go on a date, so you do.  I am here to tell you...just because you agreed to do something does NOT mean you have to follow through.  That is what texting, Facebook or email is for.  You could get out of a date without ever having to speak to him again.  Long story short, you go out with him, you have the most awkward time of your life, he seems to think you are totally into him and ask you out for a second date.  Feeling bad for him and not having the courage to say no, you say yes and end up going out with him on 2 more dates!  You would think after turning him down from trying to kiss you 4 times over the past 3 dates he would get the hint.  Instead, he thinks it's time to move to the, "next level."  That is when you have a freak out moment in the middle of the restaurant and explain to him that he is just too old and you are not interested in him.  Of course you say it a bit nicer than that.  And his response is, "wow, I feel like you just stabbed me in the back."  You finish eating in awkward silence then leave the restaurant and have the LONGEST car ride home.  Ladies, do not let this be you.  I am trying to save you a lot of stress and anxiety.

Just when you think that you are so over dating, you meet a guy at church.  Ladies, JUST BECAUSE YOU MEET A GUY AT CHURCH DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING!  After 3 weeks, he finally decides to ask you out.  You say no.  He is a persistent guy so the very next week he asks again.  Once again you say no but in the back of your mind you are hoping he will ask again.  Every girl likes to be pursued. Next week rolls around and he ask again.  You say no yet again.  He then says okay, why don't we just grab coffee?  As friends.  I will not come pick you up.  We will not call it a date.  We can meet at Starbucks and have a casual conversation.  You finally break down and agree to casual conversation and coffee with this guy.  So that day comes around and you go meet up with him for coffee and conversation...remember, it's not a date. You get your coffee, sit down and start talking.  The next thing you know, you look at your watch and realize 3 hours has past!  You are thinking, wow...this only felt like 30 minutes!  You go home that night, still on cloud 9.  You decide it's time to stalk his Facebook because any smart girl would check out a guy’s Facebook to find out more about him.  You start going through his pictures and come across wedding pictures.  Then all of a sudden, it finally dawns on you that you are looking at HIS wedding pictures that were only dated a year ago!!!  Your heart immediately sinks.  You grab your phone and without giving much thought, you send him a text saying, "You have a BEAUTIFUL bride! Loved your wedding pics on Facebook :)"  Ladies, if he is a charmer (which he was) RUN far far away!  It's the charmers that will suck you in!

All of you single ladies out there...if you have had similar issues in the dating world, you are NOT ALONE!  I understand.  These little blurbs of stories don't even tell half of what went on these dates!

Let me clarify, all of these dates were a couple of years ago if not more.  I have learned a thing or two about dating since then.  Maybe?

I am going to do a follow-up post on what I believe the dating world should look like as a Christian.  I thought I would give you a good laugh first  :)

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