Feb. 15, 2011. The day I will never forget

I wrote this note on my Facebook last year before I started blogging. This explains where the poem that I wrote came from.

Writing is what I normally do to express myself, but I generally do so in a little journal that I keep hidden in my room instead of publically posting on the internet. For this subject matter, I feel the need to do it publically.

As many know, Agrium Fertilizer plant burned down in Hartsville just a few hours ago. I grew up with having that plant as a big part of my life because my Dad has been employed there as assistant plant manager and then became plant manager for 29 years. I remember as a little girl sitting in his office sometimes pretending like I was working right alongside of him. When I got the call from my mom telling me the plant is on fire, I immediately got in my car and came home to Hartsville. It had to be the longest ride of my life. My heart aches as I watch my Dad stand there helplessly and watch it burn to the ground. Thankfully, no one was injured in this tragic fire. There are around 50 people who are employed at the plant. It is a true miracle no one was hurt.

I can't help but wonder why this happened. My heart goes out to the families that are affected by this as well as the community of Hartsville which will be affected.

I'm not sure what the future holds for my family. Hartsville is where I was born and raised and the thought of my family having to relocate is heart-breaking for me. I used to not be able to wait to get out of this town...but that thought has been changing over the past few months. This devastating tragedy really opened my eyes to how much I truly love my home town. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for my family. I leave it in his hands.

I pray for my Dad.

I pray for my family.

I pray for the employees and their families.

I pray for the community.

I pray for the company as a whole.

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your

Own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

Never will I Forget that Day

How did this happen? How did it start?
It only took one spark and I felt as if my world fell apart.
The sight was so unbearable and yet I couldn't help but stand there and watch.
Feelings of loss. Feelings of anger. Feelings of heartache.

All I have known is engulfed in flames.
The place that I call home seems like it has gone to shame.
Questions go through my head...what happens now? What happens next?
My parents did their best to comfort me, but those same questions lingered in their minds and sent them in a complex.

Now what do we do? We wait. We wait for what it seems like forever.
Waiting on answers for our next endeavor.
During the wait I pray. I pray for strength. I pray for guidance. I pray for comfort.
I pray all these things knowing that my God will come through with answers.

The time has come. My prayers were answered.
But the feelings of loss, anger and heartache still spread within me like cancer.
Mixed emotions were in full swing.
The answers to my prayers almost felt like a sting.

For the past 22 years, all I have ever known comes to an abrupt stop.
My family is moving. What do I do now? My life has now turned into a spinning top.
I put on a face of joy even though deep inside I struggle with anger and doubt.
My life took another turn and I all I want to do it block it out.

One thing I am sure of is that God is always faithful.
No matter how I feel, I am still grateful.
I continue to pray for understanding, guidance and peace
For I know that God has a perfect plan for me and His love will never cease.

As my family moves into the next season of their lives
I know that God will stay by our side.
I still have question that run through my head. What do I do now? What should I do next?
I still feel as if my life is falling apart, I wish that God could write it out in a text.

One thing I have to remember is that this is not my life that I am living for.
I am living this life for a man named Jesus. The one that I adore.
My life may seem as it is falling apart, but He is there to pick up the pieces.
I could not get through this without Him. Day by day, my love for Him increases.