Be still and know that I am God

As I sit here in a cute, little quaint coffee shop called the Midnight Rooster, known for its amazing coffee, delicious sushi and yummy wine; I can't help but want to write. Yes, I realize it sounds like I just described a movie scene of an inspiring writer who sits in a coffee shop, sipping on their coffee writing hoping to one day make a break in the world of writing. Honestly, some of my best blogs or personal journal writings come from a quaint coffee shop. I have discovered that I sometimes need to escape from reality, and enter a fantasy world where bad things do not exist, everyone is friendly and the word drama isn't even in the dictionary. According to movies and TV shows, coffee shops paint the perfect picture of a drama free, friendly, non-evil environment. 

Why do I feel as if I need to escape the reality world? Because I can't help but to hurt for our world. So many bad things, so many hurt people that I just need to escape. By no means am I complaining that God gave me a heart that breaks for our world but it does and can take a toll on me physically, mentally and spiritually. I become so caught up and worried about the issues of our world that I forget to take care of myself and my spiritual life. One of my biggest struggles as a Christian is anxiety and stress that I carry with me from day to day. Yesterday as I was getting ready to start my day, "be still and know that I am God" (Psalms 43:6) kept repeating over and over in my head. I knew then that God was telling me to slow down, and realize I cannot fix the world myself. I am burning myself mentally, physically and most of all spiritually. Proverbs 12:25 reads, "anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." I can't help someone if I am spiritually weighed down myself.

 I am a people pleaser.  There is nothing wrong with that if you know how to properly deal with being a people pleaser. You have to know when it's not appropriate to please the person if that means it may hinder your personal spiritual life. When someone is struggling I struggle. When someone is hurt I hurt. When someone is sad I'm sad. If someone is upset I'm upset. I tend to try and carry other people's burdens. Yesterday while ai kept repeating over and over in my head, "be still and know that I am God" I had no doubt in my mind that God was telling me; "who do you think you are to think you can carry these people's burdens? I already did that for you and them. The day that I died on that cross was to show my love for you and to let you know you are not alone on this journey called life. I am already carrying the burdens of the world. It is your job as my disciple to show the world what I already did for them and you. It is not your job to do it alone. Be still and know that I AM GOD." 

For me, escaping the world of reality is one of the only ways to get me refocused on my relationship with God. I know that I need to take a step back in certain situations that are going on in my life and completely hand it over to God to take care of. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you." With knowing that I am able to do that brings me great comfort. It is time for me to focus on what is best for ME and what I believe God is calling me to do. Everything that is going on in my life, it is time to give over to God and trust in Him that His plan is perfect. Yes, I sin on a daily bases, I fail God daily and I am so unworthy of God's grace and unfailing love He has for me; But He believes I am worthy, and I deserve His unconditional love. He wipes me clean and carries my burdens for me. If I can't carry my own burdens, what makes me think I can carry everyone else's burdens? As proverbs say, “anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down." I know it is time for me to let go and hand everything over to God and trust Him to guide me in what He wants me to do. Even if it's hardest of the two choices I have to make. It's time for me to do me. As God continued to remind me yesterday, "be still and know that I AM GOD!"