God, where are you when I need you most?

Where are you, God? I need you. Why have you left me? Do you ever find yourself asking those questions? Do you ever feel as though God must be hiding from you? God, where are you when I need you most? If you find yourself asking this question, im here to tell you that it's okay. When you finally get to the point to where you start questioning where God is; you start to realize when YOU LEFT God and started your life apart from Him. Let me tell you, that is a scary, scary road that you are about to embark. When I feel as though everything is right on track, you contanstly feel spiritually fed, and everything in your life seems to be falling into place; that is when I feel that God is walking right along side of me. Not ahead of me and not a few steps behind. Right beside me. How do you go from a spriritual mountain top to the deep, dark valleys? It does not happen abbrubtly. God is fighting for you until you make the choice to run ahead of Him and leave Him in the dust. You start dwelling on your own insecurities. You begin to tell yourself lies that you eventually start to believe. You start looking for something or someone else to fill that insecurity. That's when you start to run. Then you become so vulnerable that whatever it may be that is consuming you, you begin to see it as the finish line and you begin to sprint towards it. The next thing you know, God is no where to be found. The devil is going to find that crack. He is going to slip right in it when he feels that God has been left in the dust. You then get to the point where the sin controls you instead you being able to hand over the sin to God which he is already carrying for YOU. During your weakest moments, during your darkest times, in your most vulnerable state, that is when the devil will use his opportunity to attack. I want to tell you, there is a way out. God did not leave you. You left Him. God did not hide from you. You ran from Him until you were lost. Whatever it is that you may be going through or whatever it is that you may have done, nothing is too big for God to handle. Run back to Him, lay it at His feet, and ask for forgiveness and healing. God will never give us anything that we can not handle.(1 cor. 10:13) Lay it at the foot of the cross. And that my friend is when you begin to heal.

One of those days...Holy Week!

Do you ever have days where you feel like this?

Sorry Tyra but this picture describes me perfectly.

If you have never had one of these days, I want to take my hat off to you.  Also, I need your secret.  This morning I woke up at my normal time and started my normal routine.  After getting out of the shower, I went and stood in my closet for what seemed like days.  I have plenty of clothes.  Believe me.  But it just dawned on me...I have plenty of Fall/winter clothes.  Fall/winter are my favorite seasons and my favorite style of clothing.  Because of that I tend to shop that way.  Bring on the scarves, boots, leggins, and sweater dresses!  But when it comes to spring/summer, I have t-shirts and workout shorts.  That don't fly at my work. 

Nothing I put on looked good.  I felt awful in everything I tried on.  I ended up breaking a MAJOR fashion rule and that was I ended up puting on a pair of white lenen pants with a greenish/bluish top, nude heels, and gold jewrly.  I finally felt like I looked pretty.  I didn't even care about the you cannot wear white until after Easter rule!  I felt cute and I was going to rock it out.  As I was walking out of the house, It dawned on me.  I am wearing white pants with panties that have all different color peace signs all over them!  Always keeping it classy.  Myself just 8 months ago would have said, "oh well...it will give people some laughs."  Myself today said, "Hannah, GO CHANGE!"

Then...I ran into another issue.  The HAIR.  The past several weeks my hair has been very uncorraporative.  I have decided I was going to grow it out.  I will see how long that last.  My hair has had a weird texture to it.  It won't straigten properly.  It feels gunky.  I probably have spent $200 on hair products in the last month to try and fix it and nothing seems to work. My poor baby brother who has to share a batheroom with me.  My hair products are taking over I do believe.  For all of you pinterest lovers...make sure you never take pinterest for granted.  It will save your life.  okay, I know that was a bit dramatic.  But since my hair is saying no bueno to being down, I found a super cute, adorable spring up-do.

Ta-da!

http://pinterest.com/pin/196117758743277442/

My hair is not as long has the girls hair in the picture.  Mine is more shoulder length.  I also use a bigger flower to cover up the imperfections such as loose hair that I can't get to stay in bobby pins.  This is such a fun up-do and so simple!  I have gotten so many compliments!  And I love flowers in my hair during spring/summer time! 

Then it was time to put on my make-up.  I pull open my make-up draw only to find that I am out of my powder foundation.  Since being in my 20's I have had the privileged to develop adult acne.  I had a zit here or there while I was a teen but NOTHING like I struggle with now.  So not having my foundation, it is quite certainly almost the end of the world for me.  Once again, I may be a bit dramatic, but I'm a girl...i'm allowed to every once in a while right?  I got away with just using concealer...so it's all good.  Hopefully.  

After getting to work, I tried figuring out why it was that everything today just seemed to be going wrong.  Well, today is Maunday Thursday.  The day Jesus was sentenced, beaten, mocked, nailed to a cross, and died.  I probably didn't wake up the happiest.  I can't help but be a little upset on this day.  In fact...at the start of Lent, I leaned over to my pastor during a Lenten service and said, "this is just depressing."  It is depressing.  I am mourning Jesus' death.  I can't help it.  Maybe it's just me?  But I know it had to be done.  It had to be done so I could spend eternity with Him...my risen Savior.  How beautiful is that.  There is ALWAYS beauty from a tragedy.  To me...the story of Jesus's sacrifice is the most beautiful love story that has ever happened.  I am so grateful for the sacrifice of God's only Son.  

Yesterday I had the opportunity to prayer at a Lenten service where all the denomination had the opportunity to come together as one to worship.  I wanted to share the prayer with my readers.

This is my prayer for the end of the Lenten season:

Dear God, thank you for this beautiful day that you have given us.  Thank you for giving us the opportunity to come together as one to worship you.  I pray that you take away any distractions that we may have so we can fully focus on you during this  time of worship.  Lord, as we continue this holy season of Lent, grant us a change of heart that we might turn away from sin and follow your son's Gospel.  We ask you to fill us with hunger for what is just.  By your grace, may our lives become more deeply rooted in prayer, self-sacrifice and a willingness to share your love and grace with everyone we meet.  Please be with those who are hurting, who are angry, who feel like they have no one to turn to.  As your followers, help us to be what you have called us to be to these people.  Let them see You through us, through our actions and through our words.  Thank you for the gift of your Son.  We are so undeserving of Your grace that you so freely give us.  Because of your sacrifice, we do not have to travel this journey of life on our own.  We have you guiding us every step of the way.  Even in we fall down, you are always there to pick us up.  You are there to celebrate with us at our happiest times and you carry us through our darkest times.  We fail you daily, but your love never fails.  Help us to be more humble, more forgiving, more loving.  Help us to have a servant heart.  Help us to be more like you.  I can't even put into words how awesome you are.  We love you so, so much!  

In your precious, precious name,

Amen