As
I sit here in a cute, little quaint coffee shop called the Midnight Rooster,
known for its amazing coffee, delicious sushi and yummy wine; I can't help but
want to write. Yes, I realize it sounds like I just described a movie scene of an
inspiring writer who sits in a coffee shop, sipping on their coffee writing
hoping to one day make a break in the world of writing. Honestly, some of my
best blogs or personal journal writings come from a quaint coffee shop. I have
discovered that I sometimes need to escape from reality, and enter a fantasy
world where bad things do not exist, everyone is friendly and the word drama
isn't even in the dictionary. According to movies and TV shows, coffee shops
paint the perfect picture of a drama free, friendly, non-evil environment.
Why
do I feel as if I need to escape the reality world? Because I can't help but to
hurt for our world. So many bad things, so many hurt people that I just need to
escape. By no means am I complaining that God gave me a heart that breaks for our
world but it does and can take a toll on me physically, mentally and
spiritually. I become so caught up and worried about the issues of our world
that I forget to take care of myself and my spiritual life. One of my biggest
struggles as a Christian is anxiety and stress that I carry with me from day to
day. Yesterday as I was getting ready to start my day, "be still and know
that I am God" (Psalms 43:6) kept repeating over and over in my head. I
knew then that God was telling me to slow down, and realize I cannot fix the
world myself. I am burning myself mentally, physically and most of all
spiritually. Proverbs 12:25 reads, "anxiety in a man's heart weighs him
down, but a good word makes him glad." I can't help someone if I am
spiritually weighed down myself.
I am a people pleaser. There is nothing wrong with that if
you know how to properly deal with being a people pleaser. You have to know
when it's not appropriate to please the person if that means it may hinder your
personal spiritual life. When someone is struggling I struggle. When someone is
hurt I hurt. When someone is sad I'm sad. If someone is upset I'm upset. I tend
to try and carry other people's burdens. Yesterday while ai kept repeating over and over in my head, "be still and know
that I am God" I had no doubt in my mind that God was telling me;
"who do you think you are to think you can carry these people's burdens? I
already did that for you and them. The day that I died on that cross was to show
my love for you and to let you know you are not alone on this journey called
life. I am already carrying the burdens of the world. It is your job as my
disciple to show the world what I already did for them and you. It is not your
job to do it alone. Be still and know that I AM GOD."
For me, escaping the
world of reality is one of the only ways to get me refocused on my relationship
with God. I know that I need to take a step back in certain situations that are
going on in my life and completely hand it over to God to take care of. 1 Peter
5:7 says, "Casting all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for
you." With knowing that I am able to do that brings me great comfort. It
is time for me to focus on what is best for ME and what I believe God is
calling me to do. Everything that is going on in my life, it is time to give
over to God and trust in Him that His plan is perfect. Yes, I sin on a daily
bases, I fail God daily and I am so unworthy of God's grace and unfailing love
He has for me; But He believes I am worthy, and I deserve His unconditional
love. He wipes me clean and carries my burdens for me. If I can't carry my own
burdens, what makes me think I can carry everyone else's burdens? As proverbs
say, “anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down." I know it is time for me
to let go and hand everything over to God and trust Him to guide me in what He
wants me to do. Even if it's hardest of the two choices I have to make. It's
time for me to do me. As God continued to remind me yesterday, "be still
and know that I AM GOD!"
