It is finally 2014! Where did the last 10 years of my life go? I feel like my life has been on fast forward and I have yet to find a pause button. Even though I feel like everything is in fast motion I am very grateful for another year. Another year to spend with family, make new friends, spend time with old friends, laugh, love, do something I have never done before, start my new career, and many more things to come in 2014. Maybe I will find a pause button along the way. :-)
New year brings many things. One in particular is resolutions. You often see people posting about resolutions and talking about resolutions. I am going to be very honest with you. I have never made a New Years resolution. I think making a New Years Resolution is a great way to start the year and I commend people who do so and take it seriously. For me though, I choose not to. Quite honestly, I have a very hard time to stick with what I say I will do. I have been like this since forever. It has always been a struggle of mine and a huge frustration for my parents. At a very young age my Mom would be me in basketball and before the season was up, I was very ready to quit. Same happened with softball. And dance. And golf. Oh and don't let me forget the many instruments and lessons I went through. Piano, Cello, Violin, clarinet. I could go on with a list of things that I would start but never had the drive to complete but I'll stop there. I think I have made my point that I have a very difficult time with following through. So now you can understand why New Years Resolutions were not in my life.
Over the past few days, I have been thinking about resolutions and if I should make one this year. But I just could not do it. I don't want to set myself up for failure and I believe that's exactly what I would be doing. Another thing I vow I will do and then 2015 comes just around the corner (remember, my life is on fast forward. 2015 will be here before I know it) and find myself to be a failure again at whatever I say I will do for my resolution.
So I am not here to bash myself, I promise. In saying all of this and thinking about this I have concluded something about myself. I am not a planner. I don't make plans nor do I like to map out my life. I am a person who lives my life day to day. I live my life on how I feel in that moment. Right or wrong...that's how I live. And honestly, I have come to terms with that. Several years ago when I felt the call into ministry, within a couple of days, I had withdrew from college and on the path to pursue ministry. When I found out there was an opening at my home church for a Program Ministry Director, I did not hesitate to take that position. When I decided that "paid ministry" was not for me, I chose to walk away. When I found out my parents were moving to NC, I was right there with them ready to go. When I chose to go to Cosmetology school, I made that decision within one day and within a week I was enrolled. That has been my pattern. I go off of how I am feeling in that moment.
You would think that my life is a train wreck the way the past few years have gone. And quite honestly, I feel as though that might be true. But as I reflect back, every decision I made God always proved to shine light on the situation for me.
So why do I not make New Years Resolutions? Quite honestly, I don't know where this year will take me. I don't know what I feel God is going to call me to do. So I can't bring myself to make a resolution that I don't know if I can do. I don't want to trap myself into doing something just because I told myself I would and not listen to what God is calling me to do in that moment. I want to leave myself open to all possibilities. Things could change and I must change with them if that is what I feel God wants from me. I do know that in every decision I make, every goal I decide to set God will be there. And if I feel as though I have failed...God will quickly show me the good out of it. I do pray that in this coming year, I can be guided in every goal I set for myself. I know that when I decide something, I can depend on God to show me the way and give me the drive to do it. And I can be confident in knowing that if I don't follow through with something, God will either kick me in the butt to get it done or put me on another path so that He can ultimately get the glory. In everything I say and do, all of the promises I make, all of the goals I set I pray that God will ultimately get the glory. I will leave my New Years resolution up to God to make for me.
Bring it on 2014 because with God on my side, I will not be a failure!
ps. I do promise to blog more this year though :) Praying God helps to keep me in check with this promise.
Happy New Year!!
New year brings many things. One in particular is resolutions. You often see people posting about resolutions and talking about resolutions. I am going to be very honest with you. I have never made a New Years resolution. I think making a New Years Resolution is a great way to start the year and I commend people who do so and take it seriously. For me though, I choose not to. Quite honestly, I have a very hard time to stick with what I say I will do. I have been like this since forever. It has always been a struggle of mine and a huge frustration for my parents. At a very young age my Mom would be me in basketball and before the season was up, I was very ready to quit. Same happened with softball. And dance. And golf. Oh and don't let me forget the many instruments and lessons I went through. Piano, Cello, Violin, clarinet. I could go on with a list of things that I would start but never had the drive to complete but I'll stop there. I think I have made my point that I have a very difficult time with following through. So now you can understand why New Years Resolutions were not in my life.
Over the past few days, I have been thinking about resolutions and if I should make one this year. But I just could not do it. I don't want to set myself up for failure and I believe that's exactly what I would be doing. Another thing I vow I will do and then 2015 comes just around the corner (remember, my life is on fast forward. 2015 will be here before I know it) and find myself to be a failure again at whatever I say I will do for my resolution.
So I am not here to bash myself, I promise. In saying all of this and thinking about this I have concluded something about myself. I am not a planner. I don't make plans nor do I like to map out my life. I am a person who lives my life day to day. I live my life on how I feel in that moment. Right or wrong...that's how I live. And honestly, I have come to terms with that. Several years ago when I felt the call into ministry, within a couple of days, I had withdrew from college and on the path to pursue ministry. When I found out there was an opening at my home church for a Program Ministry Director, I did not hesitate to take that position. When I decided that "paid ministry" was not for me, I chose to walk away. When I found out my parents were moving to NC, I was right there with them ready to go. When I chose to go to Cosmetology school, I made that decision within one day and within a week I was enrolled. That has been my pattern. I go off of how I am feeling in that moment.
You would think that my life is a train wreck the way the past few years have gone. And quite honestly, I feel as though that might be true. But as I reflect back, every decision I made God always proved to shine light on the situation for me.
- When I quit college, I had a full-time job within a week with full benefits.
- When there became an opening at my home church, I got offered the job.
- When I chose to leave the job at the church, God gave me the opportunity to leave and start over in a completely different setting. (Which is what I needed.)
- When my Dad's job was in jeopardy, God provided a job which in turn provided me with a roof over my head and food to eat. (I was out of a job for almost 6 months and my parents were there for me during that time.)
- And when I made the abrupt decision to go to cosmetology school, God made a way and gave me the ambition, motivation, and drive to do it. (Now I am only a little over 3 months of completing school!)
So why do I not make New Years Resolutions? Quite honestly, I don't know where this year will take me. I don't know what I feel God is going to call me to do. So I can't bring myself to make a resolution that I don't know if I can do. I don't want to trap myself into doing something just because I told myself I would and not listen to what God is calling me to do in that moment. I want to leave myself open to all possibilities. Things could change and I must change with them if that is what I feel God wants from me. I do know that in every decision I make, every goal I decide to set God will be there. And if I feel as though I have failed...God will quickly show me the good out of it. I do pray that in this coming year, I can be guided in every goal I set for myself. I know that when I decide something, I can depend on God to show me the way and give me the drive to do it. And I can be confident in knowing that if I don't follow through with something, God will either kick me in the butt to get it done or put me on another path so that He can ultimately get the glory. In everything I say and do, all of the promises I make, all of the goals I set I pray that God will ultimately get the glory. I will leave my New Years resolution up to God to make for me.
Bring it on 2014 because with God on my side, I will not be a failure!
ps. I do promise to blog more this year though :) Praying God helps to keep me in check with this promise.
Happy New Year!!
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