Someone Worth Dying For

Just about everyday, my sister and I communicate most of the day exchanging emails back and fourth.  Yesterday, she sent me one asking if I had heard the song, "Someone Worth Dying For" by Mikeschair.  Surprisingly I had not heard the song.  As I was in my office listening to it, I started tearing up.  It has such powerful lyrics and the music is beautiful.  

The chorus says:

"Am I more than flesh and bone?

Am I really something beautiful?

Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe that

I'm not just some wandering soul

That you don't see and you don't know

Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I 

Am someone worth dying for"

As I was listening, I started asking myself these questions.  That is when the tears started flowing.  I feel as if I slap God in the face sometimes with some of my actions or by doing some of the things I do.  What makes ME someone worth dying for?  I try to live my life as Jesus would want for me to, but I fail everyday.  I have been told that I am hard on myself.  My response to that is, "Do you understand the price that was already paid for these sins that I make? Of course I am going to be hard on myself."  

My very first Sunday school lesson that I did with the youth, we discussed the crucifixion in very graphic detail.  As I was reading the gruesome  details of how Jesus was crucified, the kids started begging me to stop. It is hard for us as sinful humans to hear how our God sent His son to be tortured and nailed to a cross for OUR sins.  The youth made a statement to me saying, "you are pretty intense."  Yes, I am intense, because the reality of being a Christian is intense.

Towards the end of the song the lyrics say:

"You are more than flesh and bone

Can't you see you're something beautiful

Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe

He wants you to see, He wants you to see

That you're not just some wandering soul

That can't be seen and can't be known

Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you 

Are someone worth dying for"

For me to understand that I am someone worth dying for is inconceivable for me to comprehend.  God's love is so big.  As I am listening to this song, I can hear God saying, "you are more than flesh and bone, can't you see you're something beautiful, you gotta believe, he wants you to see.  That you're not just some wondering soul that can't be seen or known, you gotta believe, your someone worth dying for."

When I fail, I know God is saying this to me.  It is so comforting to know that no matter what I do, or how bad I may mess up, He is there.  God knows me inside and out and I strive to know Him more and more everyday.  It still amazes me how much He loves me with all my shame, and brokenness.

God's Timing is Perfect

It always amazes me on how God's timing is always perfect.  These past couple of days have been a little crazy for me.  For different reasons, my heart has been really heavy and I have been seeking so much direction on how to deal with it.  I am the type of person who feels way deep inside for others.  If someone is hurting or having trouble, so am I.  I don't always show it outwardly, but deep down I am breaking for some people and their situation.  I sometimes wish I didn't have so much compassion for people.  It sure would save me a lot of heart-ache for other people.

Over these past few days I have been seeking a lot of direction through prayer and those who I look up to.  Today, when I got home from work, I saw that I had some mail.  It was a card from my dear friend Dannielle.  I have not talked to her since Saturday, so she had no idea that these past couple of days have been a little difficult.  The card was such an encouraging card.  One simple line that she wrote in that card put me at ease of the situations that I have been dealing with and that was, "I want you to know I am praying for you."  She also wrote in the card that, "God's timing is ALWAYS perfect."  I am so thankful for Dannielle and our friendship.  For her to not know what has been going on and to send me that card saying she is praying for me further proves that God's timing is always perfect.  

Prayer Garden Ministry

While it is still fresh on my mind, I had to write this post.  First off, I have to say that I work with the most awesome, passionate minister.  I am so happy for the opportunity of learning under her and being able to see her passion that is so evident.

Our church has a soup kitchen ministry where we provide lunch 5 days a week for the people in the Hartsville area.  This ministry has been going on for years.  The building that we use is right across the street from the main Church buildings.  A couple of weeks ago, it came up in a church meeting that a few people who are waiting for the soup kitchen to open, congregate in our prayer garden that is located on the main church building side.  It has been so hot out that these folks are just looking for some shade and the prayer garden provides that for them.  Fran, the minister, suggested that she start a devotion and prayer time with these people.  One thing about Fran is that when she see's a need, she goes for it.  She prayerfully considered how she would go about doing this. This past Sunday she announced to the church that she will be starting the Prayer Garden Devotion for the people who go to the soup kitchen.  The devotion will begin at 11am-11:30am every Wednesday.  She asked the congregation to pray for this new ministry and if anyone would like to be apart they are more than welcomed.

The day came and I saw Fran rushing past my office eager to see where this new ministry will lead.  I stopped what I was doing and followed right behind her.  When we got to the garden, another member of our church, David Allen, was there to be a part of this ministry.  But we were missing the soup kitchen folks.  Soon after, 3 guys showed up and were looking at us from across the street.  They waved at us and I returned the wave, but it did not look like they were even going to attempt to walk over to us.  So Fran, the brave, Godly women she is, walked over there and before we knew it, we had David, Terry and George with us ready to hear the devotion.  These 3 men were the most thankful and polite men.  They were so respectful as they listened to Fran share the devotion.  During that moment, I knew God's presence was there.  After the devotion, Fran asked if there were any prayer concerns and David immediately told us that his fiance is sick and will be needing surgery and that he also has some health issue's.  During this time, we had more member's from our church come and congregate with us.  It was so awesome to see that these church member's were willing to go to where these people are (most being homeless) and talk and share God's love with them.  After we prayed, Terry sang this beautiful song for us.  During that moment, I just knew that this was the right thing for us to do.  Fran saw a need, and God provided a way for her to meet those needs by starting this ministry.

Those 3 gentlemen have already blessed my life in those few short minutes of spending time with them.  I am so excited to see where this ministry leads and where God leads these people.

My Generation Needs to Grow Up

I am reading a book called, "The Godbearing Life."  This book is a great book for anyone who works in youth ministries.  I love reading self-help type books, especially in the youth ministries area being that that is one of my fields of work.  One thing in books about youth ministries is that there are always statistics in them.  Although I have read many, I am still shocked about these statistics that I read in these books.  Honestly, I have no idea why I continue to be shocked, knowing that I grew up in the age where drinking at 13 was normal, going to a high school where teen pregnancy was very high, and STD's were a problem.

Here are some of the statistics that are in the book that I am currently reading:
*77% of 8th graders have report having used alcohol.
*Parents spend 40% less time with their children than they did a generation ago.
*Roughly 1 million teenage girls become pregnant each year.
*1/4 of all new HIV infections occur among those under age 21.
* 73% of teenage girls agree to have sex with their boyfriend in order to please them, then later regret it.

To me, these statistics are more than shocking, they're sad.  One thing that I can not understand is that ever since social media, it has become popular to post the drunk pictures or (excuse my language) the slutty pictures.  It has sent our youth into a downward spiral and what they do not realize is that once you post a picture like that on the Internet, there is NO way to fully delete it.  More and more businesses are checking out potential employee's facebook before even considering to interview them.  Whether you are of age, or underage to consume alcohol, posting drunk picture's is not smart.

As I was looking at my facebook today, I came across some very inappropriate picture's of teenagers.  The worst part about it, is that the age difference in the teens range from freshman in high school to people who have already graduated college.  I can not imagine being my age and partying with high school freshman.  I blame these so-called young adults who first off buy these kids alcohol and then proceed to party with them.  What has happened to my generation of people!?!?!  The way these young girls were dressed was completely offensive and inappropriate.  Why is this becoming okay?

I am not against drinking.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.  I do however have a problem with underage drinking, and drinking with the intentions of getting drunk.  But my biggest pet peeve is the people who are of age to drink who party with kids and provide them with alcohol.  We need to start taking responsibility, even as young adults, to protect the kids and teenager's in our world.  It literally hurts me to see these type of pictures posted all over the Internet.  I just wish people my age would grow up and start acting like an adults and be the role model they should be to the younger people.

I Have the BEST Job Ever!

Over the past several weeks I have had the privileged to get to know the youth in our church on a more personal level.  I can not express to you how wonderful each and every one of these kids are.  They all have such a joy for life, and every single one of them can make you laugh even on your saddest day.  I am so grateful for the opportunity that God has placed before me to be in the lives of these youth.  I get to feel younger again when I am around them.  I am truly a 15 year old at heart.  If I had it my way, I would have never grown up.  Although when we do play Ultimate Frisbee, I don't feel so young anymore.  I need to get back in shape!  :)

Today was the last day of work for our youth leader, Sarah.  While watching her interact and lead this group of teenagers, I have seen the joy and love that she has for them as well as they have for her.  I am so thankful for the time that I have had to work with Sarah. She has already taught me so much in the short weeks of working together.  I just hope that I can gain that respect and relationships with each and every youth that she has.  I pray for the next season of her life as she continues her calling in ministry.

I am excited for the trips, exhausting weekends, many lock-ins, ultimate Frisbee games, and many more tiring things that comes along with being a youth leader.  I am even more excited to see these youth grow into the person that God is calling each and every one of them to be.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for this church with these amazing youth  :)

Looking Back

Since moving back in with my parents I have had a lot of free time.  With my free time, I have gone through some old boxes in the attic and found letters and pictures from my Jr. High days.  It was very entertaining going back through and reading the letters.  The drama back in Jr. High is so funny now, but back then it was possibly the worst thing happening at the time.  Since my Jr. High days, my friends, my style, and even the person I was has changed.  Those memories, lessons, and friends are still apart of what made me who I am today.  I loved going back and reading the notes and looking through the old pictures.  I thought I would share some of the pictures.  I think it's funny to see how the styles have changed  :)