Walking Away From Ministry

How do we know when it is time to step back from ministry?  This is a difficult topic to write about because most people in ministry do not want to own up to the fact that this could be their reality one day.  After having over four months to process the reasons why I chose to do so, I finally feel that I can blog about it.  I was in paid ministry for less than a year (which is a whole different ball game than volunteer ministry) but I quickly became "burned out."  For many months I chose to put on a, "everything is perfectly fine face."  I made people believe that I still felt like youth ministry is where I should be.  I was able to make people bellieve that because I was doing everything in MY power to believe that.  But the more I was telling myself that, the more God was making it clear to me that I need to bow out.

How do you know when it's time to step out of ministry? 

When you start looking at it as just a job rather than your calling.

Ministry is never "just a job."  It is not something you take lightly.  Ministry is an urgent calling.  Going into ministry, we are held to a different standard in non-christian eye's.  We have to make a commitment to try and obtain that standard because we are being watched like a hawk to those people.  We have to be willing to throw the job title, the paycheck, the nice big office out the window when it comes to being in "paid" ministry.  Ministry will never be a "job."  When it becomes a "job" to you, it is time to re-evalute what God is calling you to do.

When you feel a disconnect from God.

Everybody goes through their valleys as a Christian as I have blogged about in previous post, but there is a huge difference between going through a valley and being disconnected from God.  Being disconnected means you are intentially turning away from God.  You are trying to hide from Him so you can live your life for yourself instead of living your life to bring glory to God.

When you start to feel resentment torwards God.

This is a very difficult one for me to admit but it became real feeling for me.  When you start to blame God for everything that is going wrong in your life and in your ministry, resentment is the only natural feeling that follows.  When you begin to question God out of anger of why He called you into ministry instead of questioning Him for direction.  It's okay to questions God and what he has planned for you in order to go into the direction He wants you to go.  If someone asked me to go jump off a cliff, you best believe I am going to question them as to why.  It's okay to question God, as long as you are doing it for direction.  When you begin to question Him out of anger and blame Him for everything that is going on in your ministry and life, it's time you step back and ask yourself; is it really God or is it the devil who did this.  Who are you following?  God's will for you or are you believing the devils lies that he feeding you.

When you have to talk yourself into believing that this is what God wants you to do.

When you have to tell yourself over and over that you are following God's plan for your life, you are most likely not.  When you know God is telling you to do something, you should not have to convince yourself that this is what you are supposed to do.  If it's God's calling for you, you will have absolutley no doubt in your mind.  If you are truly seeking His will for your life, He promises to guide us in the direction He wants us to go.  

Division

As a leader in the church, you are most likely accountable to another leader in the church.  When you are unable to follow the other leader because you feel you both have a different vision for the church or differences on theology, it is time to move on.  You can not lead a ministry when there is division within the church.  In a church, you cannot have the mindset that someone works for YOU or that you work for someone in the church.  As leaders, we all have one goal and that is to lead others to Christ.  We work for our Lord, not for the church.   Having the mindset that you work for the church is a sure way to lead a church to its grave.  As leaders, working together is essential.  If you can't work together then move on.

Leaving the ministry is a very tough decision but if you are experiencing these feelings, then you have no choice but to step out of ministry.  As christians, the day we gave our life to Christ we made a promise to follow Him.    Jesus  says; "follow me and I will make you fisher's of Men. (Matthew 4:19) God promises that if we choose to follow Him, He WILL use us to bring other people to Him.  If you are staying in ministry because you are scared to leave, God will not use you.  That might sound weird but just because you work in a church does not automatically make you a christian.  Just because you chose to step out of paid ministry, does not mean God won't use you.  He promised us He will if we follow Him.  It is our obligation as Christians to be fishers of men.  God never said, you have to work in a church to be fishers of men.  He simply said, "FOLLOW ME and I will make you fishers of men.  Just because God is calling you to leave the ministry does not mean He won't use you.  It just means He as a different plan in using you.

Do I believe God completly wants me to leave ministry all together?  Paid ministry? yes.  Volunteer ministry? no.  God has broken my heart for the youth of this world.  I have laid out some heavy stuff in this post to make it obvious that I clearly need to work on my broken relationship with Christ before going back into ministry even if it's just vounteer.  I have faith that God will open doors for me as to what ministries He is calling me too.  I know that seeking His will is what will lead me to those opportunities.   Although I have failed God miserably, He has never failed me.  I know that He will use my story and my experience to glorify Him.

  

Fairy Tales do come true...

Forgive me for the cheeziness of this post.  There is no other way to blog about this without the mushy cushy, cheezy, lovey dovey, fairytale romance.

Once upon a time there was a girl.  She knew that one day she would find love but never knew that it would be found with one click of a button.  (I literally mean one click of a button.)  Sitting there at her computer, scanning through profiles one seems to keep catching her eye.  So with nothing to lose, she sends him a "wink."  A "wink" on a dating website indicates, "hey I'm interested, lets get to know eachother."  The next thing she knew, they decided to meet.

After their first meeting, she called her sister to let her know how it went.  According to her, the date went well.  But several days passed by where she didn't hear from him.  Her very bright, charming, lovely sister told her to drop him like it's hot.  He's obviously not interested.  ( Her sister doesn't hide her feelings very well.)

Luckily...she did not take her sister's advice.

They did go out again.  But she was still a little confused.  He would goes days on days without texting her.  Was he interested?  She sure was.  Her sister felt the same way...drop him.  There are plenty of fish in the sea!

Once again...she did not take her very charming, smart, lovely sister's advice.

This went on for a while.  Finally, she decided to have the DTR talk. (DTR=define the relationship)  Of course her younger sister had to tell her this.  They finally DTR their relationship.  It was official. They were an item.  It didn't take long for her sweet, charming, intellegent sister to make up a nick-name for him.  Prince Edward.  During this time, the royal wedding was going on so it only seemed appropriate to call her sister's new boyfriend Prince Edward.  Edward being his real name and all.

Thank goodness she did not take the advice from her amazing, talented, wonderful sister.  Although her sister is still not sure what his whole, "I'm not going to call her for a few days and make her suffer thing was about."  Apparently he was "playing it cool."

Their love quickly grew.  They bonded over politics, education, simular interest, importance of family, but most of all they bonded and fell in love with eachother's love for God.  They made it a priority to have God at the center of their lives and relationship and it was very clear.

He got the parents approval.  Now it was time to get the amazing, sweet, caring, awesome sister's approval.  Her sister was always tough on the boyfriends because she knew that her sister only deserved the best.  Her goal was to scare off every guy who wasn't anything but perfect for her sister.

Luckily, Prince Edward met her awesome, smart, charming sister's approval.  Her sister knew then, she was going to marry this guy.  It didn't take them long to realize that too.

After several months, Prince Edward ask her parents for her hand in marriage.  The parents were thrilled and ofcourse gave their approval.

Prince Edward chose August 18th, 2012 as the day he was going to propose.  He planned everything out to be absolutley perfect.  Since both were living and working in DC, he chose to propose at the Jefferson Memorial at Sunset.  He had his brother and mother hiding in the bushes to tape the whole engagment.  They also had an audiance of 5 people who witnessed the whole engagment.  It even brought some to tears. (mind you, they were still drinking from the night before.)  After he proposed, he planned for them to go on a day cruise.  Prince Edward then had it planned for her family to come and surprise her.  He knew how much that would mean to her knowing that her family meant everything to her.  They came back to his apartment where his Mom had champagne and appetizers  their waiting to celebrate this joyous time.  They finally arrived and needless to say she was very surprised her family was their waiting to congratulate her.  

We then all watched the video of the engagment.  Which she had NO idea about and neither did her family.  After taking many pictures, googleing over the gorgeous ring, crying and celebrating we continued the celebration by all going out to eat.  We shared stories, listened to the newly engaged couple talk about their day, laughing about the unexpected audiance who watched the whole engagement, watch the couple share a dance, and simply talked to eachother.  Two separate families were quickly becoming one.  After dinner, we went to leave to find a limo waiting their to take us around to different historical places in DC.  We all piled in the limo, still in shock continuing the joyous celebration of this engagement.  The family was later dropped off and the two lovebirds rode off together to hit up their favorite spots in DC until they finally went home.

I am proud to say that the girl in this story is my sister, Janet and Prince Edward is my new future brother-in-law.  

This story was written through eye's of Janet's, sweet, charming, amazing, smart, awesome, caring younger sister.  Their love story continues to unfold but I can honestly end this story by saying...

And they lived happily ever after.