Someone Worth Dying For

Just about everyday, my sister and I communicate most of the day exchanging emails back and fourth.  Yesterday, she sent me one asking if I had heard the song, "Someone Worth Dying For" by Mikeschair.  Surprisingly I had not heard the song.  As I was in my office listening to it, I started tearing up.  It has such powerful lyrics and the music is beautiful.  

The chorus says:

"Am I more than flesh and bone?

Am I really something beautiful?

Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe that

I'm not just some wandering soul

That you don't see and you don't know

Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I 

Am someone worth dying for"

As I was listening, I started asking myself these questions.  That is when the tears started flowing.  I feel as if I slap God in the face sometimes with some of my actions or by doing some of the things I do.  What makes ME someone worth dying for?  I try to live my life as Jesus would want for me to, but I fail everyday.  I have been told that I am hard on myself.  My response to that is, "Do you understand the price that was already paid for these sins that I make? Of course I am going to be hard on myself."  

My very first Sunday school lesson that I did with the youth, we discussed the crucifixion in very graphic detail.  As I was reading the gruesome  details of how Jesus was crucified, the kids started begging me to stop. It is hard for us as sinful humans to hear how our God sent His son to be tortured and nailed to a cross for OUR sins.  The youth made a statement to me saying, "you are pretty intense."  Yes, I am intense, because the reality of being a Christian is intense.

Towards the end of the song the lyrics say:

"You are more than flesh and bone

Can't you see you're something beautiful

Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe

He wants you to see, He wants you to see

That you're not just some wandering soul

That can't be seen and can't be known

Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you 

Are someone worth dying for"

For me to understand that I am someone worth dying for is inconceivable for me to comprehend.  God's love is so big.  As I am listening to this song, I can hear God saying, "you are more than flesh and bone, can't you see you're something beautiful, you gotta believe, he wants you to see.  That you're not just some wondering soul that can't be seen or known, you gotta believe, your someone worth dying for."

When I fail, I know God is saying this to me.  It is so comforting to know that no matter what I do, or how bad I may mess up, He is there.  God knows me inside and out and I strive to know Him more and more everyday.  It still amazes me how much He loves me with all my shame, and brokenness.

God's Timing is Perfect

It always amazes me on how God's timing is always perfect.  These past couple of days have been a little crazy for me.  For different reasons, my heart has been really heavy and I have been seeking so much direction on how to deal with it.  I am the type of person who feels way deep inside for others.  If someone is hurting or having trouble, so am I.  I don't always show it outwardly, but deep down I am breaking for some people and their situation.  I sometimes wish I didn't have so much compassion for people.  It sure would save me a lot of heart-ache for other people.

Over these past few days I have been seeking a lot of direction through prayer and those who I look up to.  Today, when I got home from work, I saw that I had some mail.  It was a card from my dear friend Dannielle.  I have not talked to her since Saturday, so she had no idea that these past couple of days have been a little difficult.  The card was such an encouraging card.  One simple line that she wrote in that card put me at ease of the situations that I have been dealing with and that was, "I want you to know I am praying for you."  She also wrote in the card that, "God's timing is ALWAYS perfect."  I am so thankful for Dannielle and our friendship.  For her to not know what has been going on and to send me that card saying she is praying for me further proves that God's timing is always perfect.